Monday, November 28, 2005

In retrospect...

Mom: I have advice: if your hair starts getting gray at 40, dye it.
Me: Uhm. Okay.
Dad: And I have advice too. If you start getting fat at 40, dye it.

Sunday, November 27, 2005


Meredith: I've had Ovaltine before; it tastes like diarrhea in a cup. And I didn't ask my mom for more.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.

Boy Behind Me While Walking To Locker After English: Well, tell her that if she comes to the party, she has to fuck me. I'm serious. If she comes, she has to have sex with me.

Boy Ahead of Me While Walking To Locker After English:How the fuck do you know I'm not Jesus? I could be. You could be. I am fucking Jesus.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Bit of Wisdom

Ex-firefighter turned Biology teacher: There are no true atheists. I've seen a lot of people die, and no matter who they are or what they believe, their last words are always, "Please, God, help me."